If you wish to feel confident then as a basic step all you need to do is to rid yourself of unnecessary negativity. Wouldn’t it be lovely to work on your confidence? Think of it- You will be able to speak at work, start a new business or maybe even ask that girl you dream of out on a date. Work on the following 4 points which I am sure will help you build a sense of confidence in yourself:

1) Don’t always go with your feelings: When you let your feelings override your thoughts you disempower yourself. You feel like asking a pretty girl out on a date, but get anxious so you let the anxiety take over and so don’t ask her out. Or, you are at a seminar and a great idea comes to mind at a team meet but you are afraid that the rest will think it is silly and you allow the question to just slip off. Feeling confident comes from working on your values despite feeling afraid and doing what it takes to overcome a lack of confidence. It’s essential to listen to your emotions, but never trust them blindly.

2) People pleasing: We prefer to avoid potential conflict and so settle for anything. I know how a client I coach even refused a promotion only to avoid friction with a colleague who ultimately benefited with the same promotion. We stop meeting our friends if our spouses feel jealous of that. Such stuff is always done to please everyone and keep them happy. While it is good to keep everyone happy it is equally important to keep yourself happy. When you regularly prioritize other people’s wants and needs before your very own, you train your mind to devalue your own needs. Practice thinking of what you want. Go for what you love. You don’t always have to bother about how others think.

3) Worrying about the future: As a modern human race we are pros at creating hypothetical problems. Creating mental blocks based on things that may happen in the future which in reality may never occur. Worry can be described as unproductive problem-solving. If you don’t control this unnecessary worrying you will most likely collect all of the side effects of negative overthinking like stress, anxiety, or panic with none of the benefits of genuine problem-solving. If you want to feel confident, you must accept the fundamental uncertainty of life and carry on with your tasks without worrying about what you’ll encounter in the future.

4) Ruminating on the past: Rumination over mistakes and losses in the past form a shield of bondage around you keeping you tied down and handicapped. You must reflect on the past but never let it get the better of you. Don’t replay your mistakes again and again in your mind’s eye. You will miss out on good things in the present if you think too much of the past. If you invest your entire attention on yesterday, you will be left with nothing for today.

At this, the beginning of 2021 I wish you a bright and confident future. Know that I am there to assist you along the way. Check out any of my programs. All of them will help boost your confidence. Do check out www.mariosequeira.org or sign up for my one on one coaching program at mariosequeira.org/coaching