A common problem that brings down our self-esteem is when we begin to take things personally. I don’t mean to tell you to get thick skinned because that is not always good but you must find a way of knowing that all that happens is not always within your control. But not taking things personally is not always the easiest thing to do. I’d like to share a few ways by which it will be possible for you to do this.

1) Breathe: When faced with criticism just go to a quiet place, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Focus on your breaths for as long as you can but at least 2 minutes. This will help you to keep your mind calm. It creates a space between you and what has happened.

2) Get Clarification: Do not jump to conclusions with what you have heard someone say to you. This may make you feel angry or hurt. Instead ask relevant questions that will clarify what the person meant. You can tell the person how you felt when you heard him or her say those words to you.

3) Everything is not about you: It is easy to fall in the trap and think that everything said applies to you. But it may be the case that the other person was actually having a bad day, and so they vented out their frustrations on you.

4) Talk it out: When something said to you is disliked by you, there is not point in begining to sulk. Try and stop this immediately by finding someone to talk to. It maybe a colleague, a spouse, a friend or a Life Coach like me.

5) What can you learn from this: Ask yourself what is in it for you to learn and improve on in this situation? You may find that there are a few things you can improve on and move forward. Do not get stuck in the situation instead try and go forward from it by making it a learning experience.

6) Improve your self esteem: Find ways to improve your self esteem. Learn to love yourself and be confident. Do not let the opinions of others affect you. Treat everyone equally and with love. Love yourself equally too. These things will go a long way in building your self esteem.

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